Friday, July 15, 2011

Life with two.

Chances are, I won't be seen around these parts too often for awhile. Life with two is... exhausting. Wonderful. Silly. A blessing. Frustrating. So worth it. I wondered my entire pregnancy, and even before how I would manage to love Avery like I love Cori. She's my whole entire world. My heart aches at the thought of her being hurt or even sad. I couldn't figure out whether I would be able to have that kind of feeling for a little boy, or even another little girl. Needless to say, I worried. I guess, to be honest, I still don't feel like I have quite the connection with little Avery that I have with Cori, but it's getting there. He is pretty perfect. I think I would classify him as a "tougher" baby than Cori was, but in all reality, I think that's because all of my attention can't go to his wants and needs like they could when Cori was a little newbie baby. In a lot of ways, he's an easier baby than she was though. Like for example, how I put him to bed in his crib at 7:30pm when Cori went to bed, and he's still sleeping peacefully an hour and a half later. Yeah, I definitely never got that with newborn Cori. I'm sure he'll wake soon and it'll be time for another session of breastfeeding, but then I'll be able to cuddle up closely with him nestled under my arm and fall fast asleep for the night.

Sometimes I feel like I'm "cheating" on Cori with Avery. As though I shouldn't be able to have tender, private moments with Avery because those moments should be spent with Cori instead. I don't know why I feel that way, but I imagine it's probably just my mindset switching from mother of one to mother of two.

I do love being a mother of two, and I am so delighted that I have both a little girl and my little guy. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect little family. I know that everybody says that, and I'm sure everybody speaks the truth for their own situation because I know, in my own, it's certainly true. It's definitely true that the cards I was dealt have been some pretty lovely ones.

Our days are pretty simple if you're looking from the outside in. Wake up, diaper changes, breakfast, clean house, diaper changes, silly time with the kiddies, diaper changes, Daddy's home for lunch, nap time, more cleaning house, diaper changes, play time, Daddy's home, Red Sox game, dinner, bath time, bed time for the kids, clean from dinner, relax, sleep, rinse, repeat. Oh, and don't forget to sprinkle in all of the breastfeeding sessions throughout. Sounds simple, but from the inside, the days are exhausting.

We have only about 13 months until the Army is in our past, and we're both working hard to ensure a solid future after the military. It's going to be tough, but it'll happen, one way or another. One thing is certain about that whole scenario, and that is how truly, unbelievably excited we are about the next chapter our family is taking in that direction, post-Army.

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