Tuesday, July 26, 2011

"More. More. MORE!"

My days are a constant stream of doing, listening, talking, cleaning. Never ending. Avery's awake, gotta feed him, he's asleep, dishes need to be done, Cori's hungry, gotta feed her, she doesn't want to feed herself, I have to feed her, Avery's fussing again, time for diaper changes, Cori wants to show me something, Avery needs to eat again, Cori wants me to put Avery down and crawl into my lap. Can't put Avery down, Avery's hungry, house needs to be cleaned, Cori's hungry again. Gotta clean when both kids are occupied. House is finally clean, kids are asleep, I can finally sit down. I find the couch, there's a food spill I somehow missed. Gotta get up and clean it up. It's clean and I can finally relax. Avery's hungry.

Like I said, never ending. Most days, I don't feel like I'm really cut out for this stay at home mom thing. They deserve a parent at home until they can go to school. I can't wait until Jesse and I can split that duty, and split the task of working outside of the home too. 13 months at best, 15 months at worst.

Friday, July 22, 2011

No pain, no gain.

Jesse has been selected for several things over the last couple of months that are really great for his Army career. I say career lightly because, as we all know, once October 30, 2012 rolls around, he rolls out to inactive ready reserves and the door will close on his Army career as we know it. Anyway, last month, after getting off of paternity leave, he was informed that he and six other guys had been chosen to be a part of the "hot squad" for the next year in their DCRF mission. Basically, it just means that some of the best guys in the company were chosen to all come together and essentially be the brigade sergeant major's entourage whenever they deploy somewhere stateside. Their mission is just that if there is ever a national disaster, they would deploy to that location and help out for as many weeks or months as needed. It was a huge honor to be chosen to be a part of the "hot squad" because it looks really good to all of the higher ups, especially when it comes to promotion time.

Well, a couple of weeks pass, and one of the staff sergeants in Jesse's company called him and asked him if he was interested in being on the Warfighter team. Rather than me try to explain it, I'll just copy and paste what the team is from the website: "The warfighter competition will test the abilities of military police Soldiers in a variety of military occupational skill-specific tasks, as well as mental and physical fitness over a four-day period". Anyway, this is a HUGE honor, as you have to be extremely physically and mentally fit to even try out, much less be asked to be on the team without volunteering! So, Jesse did the mandatory try out and officially made the team the following morning. Since then, he and the four other guys on the team have been HARDCORE training every single day. His entire job each day is training for this competition in September. That means, PT starts at 5-5:30 with some extensive ruck march each morning, followed by PT at the gym, then lunch, and the rest of the afternoon is spent in the gym again, working hardcore to get in better shape for the competition. I honestly don't know how he's keeping his eyes open at this point, much less continuing to work out at the extensive rate he's required to.

This morning, he did a ruck march that was 6 hours long. Six hours, six! I can't even imagine. He had awful blisters that popped up the day before yesterday, and when I mean awful, I mean d.i.s.g.u.s.t.i.n.g. Blisters that literally cover his entire foot. So that was two days ago, and after today's six hour cross country ruck, he basically has blisters on top of blisters. In fact, he even has a blister on each of his hips that are about 1.5-2 inches in diameter where his rucksack rubbed. Not to get so graphic, but I'm just trying to get the extent of this training across. It's hardcore stuff. So, tomorrow we're off to get some brand new boots for him to hopefully prevent his feet from dying anymore than they have. Although tomorrow is Saturday, he still has to train, but hopefully only for a half day or so.

All of this work better pay off in some sweet promotion points. He's hearing that he'll get all kinds of awards (= promotion points!) and hopefully they'll throw a couple of 3 or 4 day weekends his way. He's not doing it for the rewards and recognition, but that doesn't mean I can't silently hope and pray for them in his place. ;)

Friday, July 15, 2011

Life with two.

Chances are, I won't be seen around these parts too often for awhile. Life with two is... exhausting. Wonderful. Silly. A blessing. Frustrating. So worth it. I wondered my entire pregnancy, and even before how I would manage to love Avery like I love Cori. She's my whole entire world. My heart aches at the thought of her being hurt or even sad. I couldn't figure out whether I would be able to have that kind of feeling for a little boy, or even another little girl. Needless to say, I worried. I guess, to be honest, I still don't feel like I have quite the connection with little Avery that I have with Cori, but it's getting there. He is pretty perfect. I think I would classify him as a "tougher" baby than Cori was, but in all reality, I think that's because all of my attention can't go to his wants and needs like they could when Cori was a little newbie baby. In a lot of ways, he's an easier baby than she was though. Like for example, how I put him to bed in his crib at 7:30pm when Cori went to bed, and he's still sleeping peacefully an hour and a half later. Yeah, I definitely never got that with newborn Cori. I'm sure he'll wake soon and it'll be time for another session of breastfeeding, but then I'll be able to cuddle up closely with him nestled under my arm and fall fast asleep for the night.

Sometimes I feel like I'm "cheating" on Cori with Avery. As though I shouldn't be able to have tender, private moments with Avery because those moments should be spent with Cori instead. I don't know why I feel that way, but I imagine it's probably just my mindset switching from mother of one to mother of two.

I do love being a mother of two, and I am so delighted that I have both a little girl and my little guy. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect little family. I know that everybody says that, and I'm sure everybody speaks the truth for their own situation because I know, in my own, it's certainly true. It's definitely true that the cards I was dealt have been some pretty lovely ones.

Our days are pretty simple if you're looking from the outside in. Wake up, diaper changes, breakfast, clean house, diaper changes, silly time with the kiddies, diaper changes, Daddy's home for lunch, nap time, more cleaning house, diaper changes, play time, Daddy's home, Red Sox game, dinner, bath time, bed time for the kids, clean from dinner, relax, sleep, rinse, repeat. Oh, and don't forget to sprinkle in all of the breastfeeding sessions throughout. Sounds simple, but from the inside, the days are exhausting.

We have only about 13 months until the Army is in our past, and we're both working hard to ensure a solid future after the military. It's going to be tough, but it'll happen, one way or another. One thing is certain about that whole scenario, and that is how truly, unbelievably excited we are about the next chapter our family is taking in that direction, post-Army.