Sunday, December 4, 2011

End of the rope.

Oh hello, breaking point. Today, I reached you. My patience has steadily decreased as my frustrations have steadily increased over the past several weeks. With Jesse's work schedule requiring him to be gone 2 weeks, back again for 2, gone for a few days, back and then gone again for 2 weeks over the past several months, it has left me frazzled and lost. Just as we get into a routine, he goes or comes, and it's out the window once more. Today, he is gone all day preparing vehicles and gear to leave once again, tomorrow, for the field for an undetermined amount of time. It could be short, it might be long. We never really know until he says "hey, I'm on the way home!" I really don't know how the Army manages to keep anything straight with a schedule that plans itself day by day, hour by hour.

Avery has been the kind of baby since he was born that loves to be swaddled. Without a tight and secure swaddle, he refuses to eat or sleep. So long as he was swaddled, he was pretty much good to go. Until recently. At nearly 6 months, I've been hoping he would get past his swaddling days. Oh, and he has. But not completely. He is now at the point where he refuses to nurse or sleep without being swaddled, but as soon as he is swaddled, he fights and screams until he can get both of his arms out. I've tried a loose swaddle, a tight swaddle, double swaddling blankets, one arm out, both arms out, different kinds of swaddling blankets. No go. He doesn't want to be swaddled. Hooray! But he somehow hasn't made the connection that you can't be swaddled to eat at the same time as not being swaddled. Ya hear me? He normally naps about 2 hours after waking in the morning for at least an hour. The nap that normally happens about 9:30-10am, didn't happen until just now, at 3pm. He spent the morning, arching his back, crying, and refusing to nurse because I refused to swaddle him. I finally texted Jesse, in tears, begging him to please get away from work for a minute, just to call me and talk me out of my hysteria. He suggested a bath, so I pulled Cori from the nap that she was supposed to be taking, but was instead screaming and crying about, from her room and turned on Sesame Street, so that I could take a bath with Avery. He was totally chill in the tub, loving it. Now, he's asleep. It wasn't quite that simple, but I won't go into the nitty, gritty details that I'm probably too embarrassed to claim. The point is - he's sleeping.

Cori? Nope, I put her back down for a nap in her room, like always. She's currently drumming on her bed and playing with a DVD. But at least she's quiet, so hey, that's not a battle I'm willing to fight right now.

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