Chances are, I won't be seen around these parts too often for awhile. Life with two is... exhausting. Wonderful. Silly. A blessing. Frustrating. So worth it. I wondered my entire pregnancy, and even before how I would manage to love Avery like I love Cori. She's my whole entire world. My heart aches at the thought of her being hurt or even sad. I couldn't figure out whether I would be able to have that kind of feeling for a little boy, or even another little girl. Needless to say, I worried. I guess, to be honest, I still don't feel like I have quite the connection with little Avery that I have with Cori, but it's getting there. He is pretty perfect. I think I would classify him as a "tougher" baby than Cori was, but in all reality, I think that's because all of my attention can't go to his wants and needs like they could when Cori was a little newbie baby. In a lot of ways, he's an easier baby than she was though. Like for example, how I put him to bed in his crib at 7:30pm when Cori went to bed, and he's still sleeping peacefully an hour and a half later. Yeah, I definitely never got that with newborn Cori. I'm sure he'll wake soon and it'll be time for another session of breastfeeding, but then I'll be able to cuddle up closely with him nestled under my arm and fall fast asleep for the night.
Sometimes I feel like I'm "cheating" on Cori with Avery. As though I shouldn't be able to have tender, private moments with Avery because those moments should be spent with Cori instead. I don't know why I feel that way, but I imagine it's probably just my mindset switching from mother of one to mother of two.
I do love being a mother of two, and I am so delighted that I have both a little girl and my little guy. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect little family. I know that everybody says that, and I'm sure everybody speaks the truth for their own situation because I know, in my own, it's certainly true. It's definitely true that the cards I was dealt have been some pretty lovely ones.
Our days are pretty simple if you're looking from the outside in. Wake up, diaper changes, breakfast, clean house, diaper changes, silly time with the kiddies, diaper changes, Daddy's home for lunch, nap time, more cleaning house, diaper changes, play time, Daddy's home, Red Sox game, dinner, bath time, bed time for the kids, clean from dinner, relax, sleep, rinse, repeat. Oh, and don't forget to sprinkle in all of the breastfeeding sessions throughout. Sounds simple, but from the inside, the days are exhausting.
We have only about 13 months until the Army is in our past, and we're both working hard to ensure a solid future after the military. It's going to be tough, but it'll happen, one way or another. One thing is certain about that whole scenario, and that is how truly, unbelievably excited we are about the next chapter our family is taking in that direction, post-Army.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Introducing Avery William
Avery William was born on June 13, 2011 at 9:16am CST. He was born at 8 lbs, 7 oz and is 21.3 inches long. He is healthy, happy, and thriving!!
Here’s my birth story for anyone interested:
Last week, I started doing all of the little tips and tricks to help induce labor, like lots of walking, eating fresh pineapple, red raspberry leaf tea, lots of spicy food with oregano, red pepper, and basil, evening primrose oil, and sex. Of course everyone said I wouldn’t go into labor if I wasn’t ready, which is of course true, but it was fun trying everything anyway! :)
Thursday morning, I had my 39 week appointment, where I was checked for progress and was determined to be a “loose 1cm-easily stretched to 2cm” dilated and 50% effaced. My nurse practitioner stripped my membranes and said that stripping membranes led to actual labor in about, ohhh, 5% of cases. I wasn’t overly optimistic, but was excited to see if it would work anyway.
Friday afternoon around 2pm, I started noticing that my stomach was tightening and hardening all over for about a minute each time, consistently 10 minutes apart. I got a little excited, but I was having zero pain, so I didn’t really think much of it. The 10 minutes apart, 1 minute long tightening happened all afternoon and evening. Around 11pm, I realized I hadn’t felt the baby move much, if at all, so my husband and I decided it would be a good idea to head into labor and delivery just to give us peace of mind that all was okay. When the nurse checked me for dilation, I was a “tight 3” and still about 50% effaced at -2 station. She hooked me up to the monitors and after lots of ice cold water, I started feeling lots of wiggling and moving around from the baby. We were very relieved, and were released pretty quickly after that to head home.
The tightening lasted all weekend long, varying anywhere from 10 minutes to 4 minutes apart, but more usually with no pain, except a little discomfort. Sunday morning, while cleaning the kitchen, I got nauseous all of the sudden. I figured it was because I hadn’t had breakfast, so I fixed some cereal. I couldn’t even bring the cereal to my mouth because I felt so nauseous. My husband had me go lay down, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I got that “here it comes, I’m definitely going to throw up” feeling and ran to the bathroom. Sure enough, I vomited 6 or 7 times and continued to dry heave. After a minute or so, I was 100% fine and had no more nausea whatsoever. It was extremely out of the blue.
Around 3am on Monday, June 13 (my due date!), I woke up having to pee. I used the bathroom and laid back down, only to get a stomachache and realize I needed to pee again almost immediately. I used the bathroom a second time and tried to lay back down. No luck, as I once again felt like I had to use the bathroom and still had a stomachache. Since I couldn’t lay down due to my stomachache, I decided to stay up and started realizing that my stomachache was coming and going at 8 minutes apart, then 7, then 6, and then 5 minutes apart. I tracked them for about 45 minutes, and then woke my husband up to have him help me track them. Since it wasn’t much pain other than a stomachache, I wasn’t all that hopeful, but wanted to track them anyway. After about 30 minutes of tracking them with my husband, I hopped in the shower to see if that would help them go away. They didn’t, so we decided that we should probably head into the hospital since they were now consistently about 4 minutes apart, lasting about a minute each time.
We got to labor and delivery about 5:15am. The nurse checked me and determined that I was 5cm dilated, 60% effaced, and the baby was at -2 station. She decided to keep us in L&D since I was past 4cm and actively contracting (though again, not all that painfully). We got into our labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum room very quickly, where they gave me a HepLock and hooked me up to the monitors to ensure everything was okay and track the contractions for a little while. I was dealing just fine until about 7am when they started getting a bit more painful and were about 3 minutes apart. I took the monitors off and my husband helped me sway back and forth through the pain. About 8am, my nurse decided to check me for progress since it had been about 3 hours since I had been checked at 5cm. She checked me and found that I was 8cm and 75% effaced, but the baby was still about -2 station. Things were getting quite a bit more painful at this point, but I was still dealing without any desire for pain meds. Around 8:30am, I told the nurse I was starting to feel the urge to push, so she decided to check me again. I was still 8cm, but she called the nurse in to break my water, and told me my labor would likely move very quickly once my water was broken. Around 8:40am, my water was broken and the pain definitely increased. At 9am, I told her I was really needing to push, so again, she checked me and found that I was fully dilated and effaced, and the baby was at -1 station. She told me to try not to push since I didn’t want to wear myself out too fast. On the very next contraction, my body totally took over and I yelled to her “my body is PUSHING for me”. She ran to the hall and called for the doctor, yelling “I need the doctor in here, she’s ready and pushing right now!” I won’t lie – I was in absolute hell. I have never experienced the pain I felt at that moment and the ONLY thing that provided relief was just bearing down with all my might. The doctor came in to find the baby’s head and neck already out, so she very quickly slipped on her gloves and proceeded to deliver the rest of the baby. At 9:16am on June 13th, our little man, Avery William, was born. :) They laid him on my chest, and it was most certainly love at first sight. I did tear a bit, so after a couple of minutes, they took him to the warming bed next to mine to begin his APGAR assessment, and begin to stitch me up. His first APGAR score was an 8 or 9, and his second was a full 10. He weighed a healthy 8 lbs, 7 oz, and is 21.3 inches long.
Despite the excruciating pain that came along with a natural, no meds at all, delivery, I could not be more proud of myself. The pain ended soon after delivery, and my recovery since has been phenomenal compared to my recovery with my first daughter, induced and with a partial epidural. My labor from first stomach pain to delivery was right at 6 hours long, compared to my 28 hours of labor with my daughter. My entire experience at Fort Polk’s military hospital, BJACH, was completely incredible, and I have nothing bad to say about it at all. I was worried that my plans for a natural delivery wouldn’t mesh with a typical hospital’s, but they were all so supportive throughout.
Avery is breastfeeding wonderfully, and he is a champion nurser. He lost only 8 oz overnight, which was only about 5% of his weight. We were both doing wonderfully health-wise, so we were released late this morning, a little over 24 hours after his birth. He mostly sleeps, but I’m sure that will wear off in a few days. :) Big sister, Cori, is totally mesmerized by him and when we ask, “where’s your brother?” or “where’s Avery?”, she no longer points at my stomach, but instead points right at him with a big smile on her face.
I am so, so thankful for my sister-in-law who was here to take care of our daughter throughout the experience. I am also so unbelievably grateful for my husband who was such a wonderful labor partner. I seriously don’t think I would have made it through my natural labor and delivery without his unending support.
I’m in awe that he came on my due date, as I’ve been expecting an at-least-a-week-overdue baby all along. Not only that, but he shares a birthday with my father, who I know is very excited for that little birthday gift. :)
Here’s my birth story for anyone interested:
Last week, I started doing all of the little tips and tricks to help induce labor, like lots of walking, eating fresh pineapple, red raspberry leaf tea, lots of spicy food with oregano, red pepper, and basil, evening primrose oil, and sex. Of course everyone said I wouldn’t go into labor if I wasn’t ready, which is of course true, but it was fun trying everything anyway! :)
Thursday morning, I had my 39 week appointment, where I was checked for progress and was determined to be a “loose 1cm-easily stretched to 2cm” dilated and 50% effaced. My nurse practitioner stripped my membranes and said that stripping membranes led to actual labor in about, ohhh, 5% of cases. I wasn’t overly optimistic, but was excited to see if it would work anyway.
Friday afternoon around 2pm, I started noticing that my stomach was tightening and hardening all over for about a minute each time, consistently 10 minutes apart. I got a little excited, but I was having zero pain, so I didn’t really think much of it. The 10 minutes apart, 1 minute long tightening happened all afternoon and evening. Around 11pm, I realized I hadn’t felt the baby move much, if at all, so my husband and I decided it would be a good idea to head into labor and delivery just to give us peace of mind that all was okay. When the nurse checked me for dilation, I was a “tight 3” and still about 50% effaced at -2 station. She hooked me up to the monitors and after lots of ice cold water, I started feeling lots of wiggling and moving around from the baby. We were very relieved, and were released pretty quickly after that to head home.
The tightening lasted all weekend long, varying anywhere from 10 minutes to 4 minutes apart, but more usually with no pain, except a little discomfort. Sunday morning, while cleaning the kitchen, I got nauseous all of the sudden. I figured it was because I hadn’t had breakfast, so I fixed some cereal. I couldn’t even bring the cereal to my mouth because I felt so nauseous. My husband had me go lay down, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, I got that “here it comes, I’m definitely going to throw up” feeling and ran to the bathroom. Sure enough, I vomited 6 or 7 times and continued to dry heave. After a minute or so, I was 100% fine and had no more nausea whatsoever. It was extremely out of the blue.
Around 3am on Monday, June 13 (my due date!), I woke up having to pee. I used the bathroom and laid back down, only to get a stomachache and realize I needed to pee again almost immediately. I used the bathroom a second time and tried to lay back down. No luck, as I once again felt like I had to use the bathroom and still had a stomachache. Since I couldn’t lay down due to my stomachache, I decided to stay up and started realizing that my stomachache was coming and going at 8 minutes apart, then 7, then 6, and then 5 minutes apart. I tracked them for about 45 minutes, and then woke my husband up to have him help me track them. Since it wasn’t much pain other than a stomachache, I wasn’t all that hopeful, but wanted to track them anyway. After about 30 minutes of tracking them with my husband, I hopped in the shower to see if that would help them go away. They didn’t, so we decided that we should probably head into the hospital since they were now consistently about 4 minutes apart, lasting about a minute each time.
We got to labor and delivery about 5:15am. The nurse checked me and determined that I was 5cm dilated, 60% effaced, and the baby was at -2 station. She decided to keep us in L&D since I was past 4cm and actively contracting (though again, not all that painfully). We got into our labor, delivery, recovery, postpartum room very quickly, where they gave me a HepLock and hooked me up to the monitors to ensure everything was okay and track the contractions for a little while. I was dealing just fine until about 7am when they started getting a bit more painful and were about 3 minutes apart. I took the monitors off and my husband helped me sway back and forth through the pain. About 8am, my nurse decided to check me for progress since it had been about 3 hours since I had been checked at 5cm. She checked me and found that I was 8cm and 75% effaced, but the baby was still about -2 station. Things were getting quite a bit more painful at this point, but I was still dealing without any desire for pain meds. Around 8:30am, I told the nurse I was starting to feel the urge to push, so she decided to check me again. I was still 8cm, but she called the nurse in to break my water, and told me my labor would likely move very quickly once my water was broken. Around 8:40am, my water was broken and the pain definitely increased. At 9am, I told her I was really needing to push, so again, she checked me and found that I was fully dilated and effaced, and the baby was at -1 station. She told me to try not to push since I didn’t want to wear myself out too fast. On the very next contraction, my body totally took over and I yelled to her “my body is PUSHING for me”. She ran to the hall and called for the doctor, yelling “I need the doctor in here, she’s ready and pushing right now!” I won’t lie – I was in absolute hell. I have never experienced the pain I felt at that moment and the ONLY thing that provided relief was just bearing down with all my might. The doctor came in to find the baby’s head and neck already out, so she very quickly slipped on her gloves and proceeded to deliver the rest of the baby. At 9:16am on June 13th, our little man, Avery William, was born. :) They laid him on my chest, and it was most certainly love at first sight. I did tear a bit, so after a couple of minutes, they took him to the warming bed next to mine to begin his APGAR assessment, and begin to stitch me up. His first APGAR score was an 8 or 9, and his second was a full 10. He weighed a healthy 8 lbs, 7 oz, and is 21.3 inches long.
Despite the excruciating pain that came along with a natural, no meds at all, delivery, I could not be more proud of myself. The pain ended soon after delivery, and my recovery since has been phenomenal compared to my recovery with my first daughter, induced and with a partial epidural. My labor from first stomach pain to delivery was right at 6 hours long, compared to my 28 hours of labor with my daughter. My entire experience at Fort Polk’s military hospital, BJACH, was completely incredible, and I have nothing bad to say about it at all. I was worried that my plans for a natural delivery wouldn’t mesh with a typical hospital’s, but they were all so supportive throughout.
Avery is breastfeeding wonderfully, and he is a champion nurser. He lost only 8 oz overnight, which was only about 5% of his weight. We were both doing wonderfully health-wise, so we were released late this morning, a little over 24 hours after his birth. He mostly sleeps, but I’m sure that will wear off in a few days. :) Big sister, Cori, is totally mesmerized by him and when we ask, “where’s your brother?” or “where’s Avery?”, she no longer points at my stomach, but instead points right at him with a big smile on her face.
I am so, so thankful for my sister-in-law who was here to take care of our daughter throughout the experience. I am also so unbelievably grateful for my husband who was such a wonderful labor partner. I seriously don’t think I would have made it through my natural labor and delivery without his unending support.
I’m in awe that he came on my due date, as I’ve been expecting an at-least-a-week-overdue baby all along. Not only that, but he shares a birthday with my father, who I know is very excited for that little birthday gift. :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Edging closer.
Tomorrow, I'll be full term and I. Am. Ready. I've realized today that there really is no comfortable way to use a lap top computer when you are 9 months pregnant. You can't set it on your lap because your gigantic belly is in the way. You can't lay back and rest it on your belly because that's just uncomfortable, and, let's face it, the baby is going to try to kick it off. It's a good thing we don't have to leave the house too much because one of the only things that even fits me at this point is Jesse's marshmallow PT pants from BCT. I tried putting on some of my workout pants the other day to lay around in, and, surprise surprise, they wouldn't move an inch over my hips. Needless to say, I am so ready to wear my pre-pregnancy clothes and stop feeling like a whale. :) Honestly, it is a little bittersweet since this is the last time I'll be pregnant. It's weird to think about, but I'm pretty confident two kids is all that Jesse and I will ever want. I'm excited to watch the scale drop back down so that I'm finally back into my weigh comfort zone. I hope that the weight will fall off as effortlessly as it did after I had Cori, but I don't know how realistic that really is. I somehow managed to lose 70 lbs by 6 months postpartum with Cori, which put me 20 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight. If I was able to do the same thing this time, I would be below my ideal weight by about 10 pounds. It's a nice thought, but I'm not getting my expectations too high. I hear the weight gets tougher to lose the more pregnancies you go through, so I'll just have to wait and see what my body decides to do.
37 weeks tomorrow. 37 weeks! That's a little hard to believe. :) Dearest Avery, if you want to wait for Aunt Stephanie to get here before you make your appearance, I totally understand. However, if you just really feel like coming out before then, I could totally get on board with that. Just make sure you're done cooking. :)
37 weeks tomorrow. 37 weeks! That's a little hard to believe. :) Dearest Avery, if you want to wait for Aunt Stephanie to get here before you make your appearance, I totally understand. However, if you just really feel like coming out before then, I could totally get on board with that. Just make sure you're done cooking. :)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Prepping for two.
In an hour and 45 minutes, I will be 36 weeks pregnant. Thirty. Six. Weeks. In roughly a month, we will welcome our little Avery William to the world and life as we know it right now will be no more. Cori will become a big sister, and life will certainly get quite a bit more hectic than it is right now. I'm trying to enjoy these last few "quiet" (ha!) weeks before I become a mama of two. I've been thinking about how simple and easy the moments are when I'm being handed cups and plates from the dishwasher by Cori. Little Avery is nestled safely inside, and I don't have to worry right now about whether he needs a diaper change, or whether it's time to nurse him yet again, or why he just won't stop crying. Cori gets my full attention, and I worry about the day when I won't be able to give that to her anymore.
I'm sure I can't be the only mother out there who worries about how I will divide my love and attention between two children instead of just one. I know the capability to evenly spread my love between children is there, but I just can't fathom it. I look at Cori and it almost hurts how much I love her. I can't imagine life without her, and I just can't begin to picture how it will feel to have that kind of love for another child soon. I love my little Avery now, but I don't know him. He has no personality now, and I don't know what he looks like. I don't know anything about him, so I can't really imagine what it will be like once he is born and I start to get acquainted with him. I know he will be perfect, but I wonder what will make him perfect.
To be honest, it's been tough for me throughout this pregnancy to get on board with the idea that Cori will have to share the spot for number one. I forget now what I thought motherhood would be like when I was pregnant the first time, and I know that sooner than later, I will forget what I imagine motherhood to two will be. I'm excited for it, no doubt, and as ready as I think that I can be, but I do worry that it will be a tough adjustment.
I'm sure I can't be the only mother out there who worries about how I will divide my love and attention between two children instead of just one. I know the capability to evenly spread my love between children is there, but I just can't fathom it. I look at Cori and it almost hurts how much I love her. I can't imagine life without her, and I just can't begin to picture how it will feel to have that kind of love for another child soon. I love my little Avery now, but I don't know him. He has no personality now, and I don't know what he looks like. I don't know anything about him, so I can't really imagine what it will be like once he is born and I start to get acquainted with him. I know he will be perfect, but I wonder what will make him perfect.
To be honest, it's been tough for me throughout this pregnancy to get on board with the idea that Cori will have to share the spot for number one. I forget now what I thought motherhood would be like when I was pregnant the first time, and I know that sooner than later, I will forget what I imagine motherhood to two will be. I'm excited for it, no doubt, and as ready as I think that I can be, but I do worry that it will be a tough adjustment.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Something to think about.
I realized when I woke up this morning that today would have been the day that I received my Bachelor's Degree from Coastal Carolina University had I continued there past my freshman year. I hadn't really thought about it at all, but when I logged onto Facebook and saw the various statuses from old college classmates about the day they'd been waiting and working so hard for, it hit me that it actually is May of 2011, the month I thought I'd be walking across that blessed stage. I'm not regretful, but it did give me a little something to think about.
I may not have that shiny piece of pretty paper with my Bachelor's degree stamped across it, but I do have a boatload of memories I never would have created had I stayed a full-time college student in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I wouldn't be married to my best friend, and I wouldn't wake up every morning to the cutest little toddler waving at me from her toddler bed into her video monitor that I roll over and look at the moment I open my eyes. I wouldn't be 9 months pregnant with my second child, and I wouldn't be living the life of an Army wife. I wouldn't have spent 2 years living in a foreign country, or seen the many unbelievable sights that I have seen, care of this crazy Army life.
Do I wish I was finishing the undergraduate chapter of my life today? Of course. But some things you just can't trade. I know I don't live the life that a lot of 21 year olds would be all that tempted to live at this age, but I love it. Despite the screaming toddler tantrums, the early morning wake up calls when you just wish you could have ten more minutes of sleep, the occasional marital spat, the financial troubles that come with being a full-blown grown up, and the days when I all want to do is throw my hands up to responsibility and crawl into the bed of my teenhood with the covers pulled over my head... despite all of that, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband is my rock, and my daughter is my sunshine. So maybe I did give up the plan that I was "supposed" to follow, but I sure did get a lot in exchange. I'll take my current 39 college credits and keep trudging along, 2 or 3 classes at a time, until I finish because, really, I'm living my best life. And for me, that's the best thing I can do.
I may not have that shiny piece of pretty paper with my Bachelor's degree stamped across it, but I do have a boatload of memories I never would have created had I stayed a full-time college student in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I wouldn't be married to my best friend, and I wouldn't wake up every morning to the cutest little toddler waving at me from her toddler bed into her video monitor that I roll over and look at the moment I open my eyes. I wouldn't be 9 months pregnant with my second child, and I wouldn't be living the life of an Army wife. I wouldn't have spent 2 years living in a foreign country, or seen the many unbelievable sights that I have seen, care of this crazy Army life.
Do I wish I was finishing the undergraduate chapter of my life today? Of course. But some things you just can't trade. I know I don't live the life that a lot of 21 year olds would be all that tempted to live at this age, but I love it. Despite the screaming toddler tantrums, the early morning wake up calls when you just wish you could have ten more minutes of sleep, the occasional marital spat, the financial troubles that come with being a full-blown grown up, and the days when I all want to do is throw my hands up to responsibility and crawl into the bed of my teenhood with the covers pulled over my head... despite all of that, I wouldn't trade it for anything. My husband is my rock, and my daughter is my sunshine. So maybe I did give up the plan that I was "supposed" to follow, but I sure did get a lot in exchange. I'll take my current 39 college credits and keep trudging along, 2 or 3 classes at a time, until I finish because, really, I'm living my best life. And for me, that's the best thing I can do.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Yep.
Since I've been super busy, I've decided it's not really all that important to do this 30 day challenge in exactly 30 days. Whenever I have a spare moment, I'll go ahead and mark the next one off my list, but I'm not going to feel absolutely compelled to do one a day. Then it's not fun. :) So, I'm kind of stuck on the next one anyway... my favorite pastime. I don't have just one, so I'll have to think for a bit before finding a picture to post.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day Thirteen
Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.
Definitely not my *favorite* band, but I do care a lot about their music and their meaning... Rise Against
Definitely not my *favorite* band, but I do care a lot about their music and their meaning... Rise Against
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